Hottest Jokes Today

The World-Famous Sickipedia Newsletter

Want to be kept up to date on the latest jokes, news and the rest of the shit that's happening on Sickipedia?

Join the newsletter now and get it all sent to your inbox!

After 1300 years of praying five times a day you would think that Muslims would have eventually realised that the carpets are not going to take off, and fly.
'Those people who say All boys are the same' oh, yeah because Gok Wan, Hitler and Eminem have loads in common.
After I pulled this girl and took her home, I left her on the couch while I made some 'preparations':

"I'm sorry for keeping you" I said when I joined her.

"You've not been that long" she replied.

"You've misunderstood," I said, "I mean you're not leaving."
Click Here For More From Today

Random 5!

I'd like to leave you ladies and gentlemen with this frightening fact: I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but if you took all the money that we in the West spend on food in one week, you could feed the Third World for one year. I'm not sure about you people, but I think we're being overcharged on groceries.
Click Here For More Random Jokes

Hottest Jokes This Week

"If you eat much more of that you're going to explode!" said my wife to our young son, as he shovelled in another mouthful of bacon.

Of course, statistically, he's far more likely to explode if he never eats any bacon at all.
A Muslim was arguing with me about how pigs were disgusting creatures and a health risk to all people.

"Do you think so Mohammed? " I said. "I've never yet seen one explode. "
Click Here For More From This Week

Hottest Jokes This Month

A Muslim schoolgirl is complaining that she has been excluded from her Camden school for wearing a veil.

Ironically, if she lived in a Muslim country she could wear a veil to her heart's content, she just wouldn't be allowed to go to school.
My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the piss out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight.

I've got a good bottle of wine in and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
History remembers Emily Davison, who threw herself in front of the King's horse to become a martyr for the suffragette movement.

It doesn't remember her husband, however, who didn't get his tea that night.
The South African justice system really is something else.

I wouldn't be surprised if Reeva Steenkamp's parents end up having to pay for a new bathroom door.
Click Here For More From This Month

Newest Jokes Today

What is the difference between Madeline Mcann and my hoover?

My hoover doesn't scream for daddy when I put my cock in it
New Scientist magazine reports about a new study. Apparently men who are vegan have a much lower sperm count compared to those that eat meat.

And the few sperm vegan men do have want nothing to do with eggs anyway.
I bought my wife a diamond ring and she promised anal sex in return.

"This wasn't quite what I had in mind," I said, as she introduced me to Paul, her hairdresser.
I wonder if anyone will unleash their weapon on Oscar Pistorius in the jail bathroom ?
Click Here For More From Today