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(10 of 658)
Posting a joke from elsewhere? - always credit it. It's only fair.
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1201159
My girlfriend came and sat next to me on the sofa looking miserable.
"Cheer up," I said.
"Oh I'm OK," she sighed, "just a bit sad."
"You're fab," I said.
"Thanks," she said.
"You're mine," I said.
"I know silly!" she chuckled.
"I love you," I said.
"Aww!" she gushed, "that's so lovely [...]
My girlfriend came and sat next to me on the sofa looking miserable.
"Cheer up," I said.
"Oh I'm OK," she sighed, "just a bit sad."
"You're fab," I said.
"Thanks," she said.
"You're mine," I said.
"I know silly!" she chuckled.
"I love you," I said.
"Aww!" she gushed, "that's so lovely!"
"Marry me," I said.
She squealed with joy and stood up and started clapping like a seal: "Yes!" she bellowed. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
I looked up at her and said, "Yes what?"
"Yes, I will marry you!" she beamed.
"Fuck off!" I said. "Here, have a Love Heart."
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Newest Today
(30 of 658)
(0 new since last update)
1219087
Recenly i have been learning my 2yo how o spell alphabe..
He said "Dad, Where's the 'T'?"
I said "It will be ready when you learn to spell this you thick little bastard."
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1219080
A young Jewish boy walked up to his father one day and asked for £50.
"£40?" He replied.
"What do you want £20 for?"
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1219066
When I was younger Mario was always my role model.
I mean, without learning how to collect coins like that I would never have become the Jew I am today.
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1219065
My wife asked for hot sex ...
So i set her on fire
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1219057
Breakfast.
Little Johnny: Grandma, where's mom and dad?
Grandma: I don't, they're probably still in bed.
Little Johnny: Hahahaha, ok. I'm going outside to play.
Lunch.
Little Johnny: Grandma, have you seen mom and dad.
Grandma: No, they are still in bed.
Little Johnny: Hahahah, ok. I'm going to play some more.
Dinner.
Little Johnny: Are mom and dad still in bed?
Grandma: I think so.
Little John [...]
Breakfast.
Little Johnny: Grandma, where's mom and dad?
Grandma: I don't, they're probably still in bed.
Little Johnny: Hahahaha, ok. I'm going outside to play.
Lunch.
Little Johnny: Grandma, have you seen mom and dad.
Grandma: No, they are still in bed.
Little Johnny: Hahahah, ok. I'm going to play some more.
Dinner.
Little Johnny: Are mom and dad still in bed?
Grandma: I think so.
Little Johnny: Hahahahaha.
Grandma: You've been laughing everytime you heard your parents are still in bed. What's so funny about that?
Little Johnny: hahaha, I'll tell you. Last night my dad came in my room and asked for vaseline, but I tricked him by giving him super glue.
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