Hottest Jokes Today
The World-Famous Sickipedia Newsletter
Want to be kept up to date on the latest jokes, news and the rest of the shit that's happening on Sickipedia?
Join the newsletter now and get it all sent to your inbox!
Both lost to Bradford.
That's nothing new we called it paki bashing in the 1970s
"Wow, look at that." Exclaimed the wife, checking it out. "There's three cats up in that tree."
"So there is." I replied, seeing them. "Must be a nest up there."
"Fuck off, you daft cunt." She said, "Cats don't live in nests."
I said, "I look young for my age and I'm a hermaphrodite so you can fuck me over any way you want to."
Needless to say I start at BBC next week.
One onlooker was heard bellowing, "Look at the ears on that!"
Didn't go well when I delivered to the wrong address.
Because that's a natural human impulse and we're not allowed to have those, apparently.
The white man's alternative to looting HMV.
Tim Westwood is a cunt.
That's a bit rich coming from a fucker who would have us believe there's an invisible man in the sky who created the earth in 7 days.
Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating.
'Why the tears?' he asked. She says, 'I'm 18 years old and I've never been kissed.'
The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head.
She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips.
They pause for an unsure moment and then shes says 'You know... I'm 18 years old... and I've never been fucked!' The man stands up starts smiling and grabs the young woman by the hair and tosses her into the sea. She starts screaming and bobbing up and down, then the man shouts; 'YOU'RE FUCKED NOW DARLING!
Hottest Jokes This Week
47 guesses later I got it right.
It probably stemmed from the fact that they're not allowed to make images of Mohammed.
This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.
I often wonder what she's up to now.
She will regret that when I give her a low score on TripAdvisor for 'rude staff'.
Its a non-prophet organisation.
I think you'll find it crashed because it went down too fast.
You can't run, but you can't hide either.
Not so much losing a loved one as gaining a spare tea towel.
Hottest Jokes This Month
That's like raping 12 kids to prove you're not a paedophile.
Said the Malaysian shark.
Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists now!
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant
I think they should kill people who are named after him as well.
Get over yourselves.
You didn't see us moaning when you came to use our pubs in December.
Mohammed for Best Picture.
I think the school is taking this "no images of Mohammed" thing a bit far.
Ian Hislop is already composing the next Private Eye cover; "Mohammed: What A Cunt".
Newest Jokes Today
0 New Jokes
Thousands of voters return to UKIP.
She shouted "Why havnt you been paying your child support!?"
He said "Fuck off, the childs not even my brother."
She was stunning.
Shouldn't that be, 'shoulder to top of head'?
The Pope must be intending to visit.
Guess it's no more Mr Nice guy.
Fucking Border Patrol.
Well today that all changes. I finally got the job as a Daily Mail journalist!
I went as Smithers.
He was one of the best friends they ever invaded for.
They have some balls to try and nick a house on camera.
He died of lung cancer.
None of them can run as fast as me.
Weed is good for your joints.
Erm, so has everyone else.
It should be nobody else's business what he does with his privates.
Why wouldn't she be wearing her clothes.
Couldn't do that these days - they'd add a charge of racism to the one of bank robbery.