After TV presenter Paul Ross told London 'Metro' he had been 'dogging' with another man following his addiction to mephedrone, his wife told the paper 'I know 90 per cent of Paul is a good man...And the other 10% is a dirty shit-stabbing sodomite who could have given me AIDS. That's why I'm divorcing the cunt.'
A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting.
He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's window. He rolls the window down.
"I have to ask you, what are you doing?"
"Well sir, I am reading a magazine."
"What about the young lady in the backseat?"
The young man turns to look behind him. "Well, I think she is knitting a pullover sweater."
"How old are you young man?" the officer asks.
"I am 18 Officer."
"And the girl?"
The young man looks at his watch. "Well, she'll be 16 in 11 minutes."
An Illinois man left the cold streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Three Indians walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of Sikh joke?"
Three Israelis walk into a bar. The barman says, "Jew can't be serious!"
Three Muslims walk into a bar. The barman says, "Fuck off, you Paki bastards."
Although the news reports about Paul Ross's mephedrone fuelled gay sex romps with a dogging associate are even more scandalous than Jonathan's involvement in the 'Sachsgate' affair, please don't judge him.
Let's just all be pleased to see him outshine his brother for once.
In the news: Jennifer Lawrence nude photos spark fear of mass celebrity hacking
A spokesman said 'This is a flagrant violation of privacy' , and is calling for additional security protocols to ensure that this doen't happen again, with warnings to hackers.
Also there will be a confrence to discuss how to ensure privacy.
Or perhaps celebrities could just stop posting naked photos to Icloud.