All Jokes

A woman with a young baby came into the cafe I run and proceeded to start breastfeeding. So I sent one of the waitresses over to sort her out. After a brief discussion however I could see the woman had started crying so i went over myself.

"What's the problem" I said to her.

Your waitress is rude and arrogant" she replied "She's said some very insensitive things!"

"Hang on a sec", I said indignantly, "you're talking about the woman I love here"

That set her off crying again. Apparently it was an insensive thing for a husband to say to his wife when she's just had his baby
Black friday?
The cotton's not ready to pick, why bother?
Living next door to Led Zeppelin has its drawbacks. I just heard a bustle in my hedgerow. The fucking hippies gave me some old guff about it being 'a springclean for the May Queen' when I went around to complain that their cat had been in to shit on my lawn again
I had a meeting with my Sons Muslim Religious Education teacher about the fact that I didn't want him learning any thing about Islam, because he doesn't really need to know any of it.

She exploded.
My mother was supportive when I said I'd like to be a judge. Urged me to never give up on my dream

So I tried and tried and tried again

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