All Jokes

Roger Moore has said that Ibris Elba can't play James Bond because he's not, "English English."

In other words - He's not a posh twat.
"I'm very depressed and I'm going to make the world very happy place by crashing a plane with three hundred people on board into a mountain. "

"How will that make the world happy?"

"I'm a pilot at Pakistan International Airline. "
I watched the movie, Titanic last night.

The best part is when Rose is holding onto Jack and she's crying, "I'll never let go," and then the fucking bitch lets go.
I asked my doctor how I could tell if my future partners are virgins, he said "well that's simple, you'll need three basic things, a can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a gun" - "what do I do with these?!" I asked, "well" he replied " you paint one ball red, one ball blue and if she says "that's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen" you shoot the bitch"

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