All Jokes

Some blonde lass walked into the newagents I work at today.

"I bet you a tenner I can guess your name," I said as she came to the counter.

"Go on then," she giggled.

"Is it Emma?" I said.

"You're absolutely spot on," she shouted handing over the tenner.

"I always am," I replied as she walked away with her bottle of coca-cola.
The Met Office has predicted the first quarter of 2015 to be the wettest yet in the history of Irish weather since records began back in 1936 including flash floods and serious flooding in selected areas.
In other news - 50 Shades of Grey hits British cinemas February 2015.
I was arrested for 14 counts of attempted murder at the fairground today.

Apparently you're not allowed to use your own car on the Dodgems.
UNICEF tryed to hijack the commonwealth games by asking Scots live to text and donate that's like asking a jew to sponsor the Nazi party.

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