All Jokes

The Cornish are delighted to have been officially recognised as a minority ethnic group.

Although the guy who runs the local pasty stall seemed pissed off when I scrawled "Fuck off home" down the side of his van.
I was telling my friend about a girl I raped down the park last night.

"So what was she like then?" He asked.

"Oh mate, she was like a fucking bear." I said.

"What, big and noisy?"


"Not really, but she shit herself in the woods."
I got caught stealing an "I'm sorry" card from hallmark today.

When I gave it to the security guard he smiled and told me I was free to go.
Whenever I see a miserable checkout girl in Asda I tell her that the lady standing behind me is a mystery shopper.

It's quite entertaining as you watch them become really friendly while packing your shopping away.

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