All Jokes

James Blunt is in hot water again, this time for making a homophobic joke about not wanting to pick up the soap in the showers with the other old public school boys such as Bori Johnson and David Cameron.

'Fuck the shower', said Stephen Fry. 'I'll show him who's beautiful even if he is 20 years too old for me!'
Springer Spaniel, 2 years old, answers to the name 'Archie'.

Was last seen in the garden of my Korean neighbours.......... wait a minute!
Find a penny pick it up, all that day you'll have good luck.

Find a penny but leave it there all the day you'll have despair.

Either way you'll find this true, obsession with a penny means you're a Jew.
My muslim neighbour passed me today and said "Hey, I've just bought a new car from the Citreon garage".

"Oh right, what you got?" I asked.

"C4" he replied.

So I called the feds.
Pop star Taylor Swift has trademarked phrases including 'this sick beat and 'we never go out of style' in the United States.

The trademark ruling prohibits others from using her lyrics on items such as t-shirts, stickers and bags.

I have just spent a fortune, and trade marked phrases including 'Taylor Swift what a complete twat' and 'You got dumped by Harry Styles Ha Ha Ha'

Please feel free to print them wherever the fuck you like.

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