All Jokes

Rifling through the chemists till by torchlight, I noticed that my arm had been cut by the window I'd broken. So I used some deluxe plasters from the shelf.

It felt great at the time, but now I have an insatiable craving for a cigarette.
I was admiring my solicitors brand new BMW 7 series,

"It's beautiful, " I said, "it must cost a fortune to run. "

"Yes, " he replied, "about £300 per hour. "
Sat here watching the news about the shootings in tunisia and isis and thinking;

'Remember the good old days of Saddam Hussein and Colonel Gaddaffi'
I was abducted by aliens last night and after lengthy tests they concluded that they were searching for a life form with a more complex brain than Earth man - I gave them the wife's phone number.

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