All Jokes

Two women were chatting in the pub.

"I'm so happy," said the first woman, "my husband lost a poker game to some black dude yesterday."

"So why are you happy, then?" asked the second woman.

"Because I've never been fucked by a 12-inch cock before," she replied.
I was recently organising a charity football match for terminally ill children and they were really taking the piss out of me for the way I was dressed. One bald kid in particular was laughing his head off, he came up to me and started pointing at my Brighton football shirt and smugly said "You ain't got no history".

To which I replied, "I'd rather have no history than no future". Little Cunt.
Rachel Riley from 'Countdown' phoned me by mistake today.

I knew it was her as soon as I asked how she got this number.

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