All Jokes

Some weirdo Muslim guy has just run in here wearing a jacket with a shitload of large candles strapped to it.

Wait a bit, those aren't candles!...
After the re-appointment of Sepp Blatter as FIFA president, England may boycott the next World Cup.

We've been doing that after the group stages for fucking years anyway.
I was walking home pissed and skint with my mate and I said,
"I wish we had one one of those prizes from that old Bullseye game show. "
"Yeah, " he said, "like a car or a scooter of something. "
"Nah, " I replied, "I'd settle for bus fare home. "
It might sound racist, but every time I see a black guy walking towards me on the side walk, I just feel the need to quickly move over to the other side of the road for good measure.

Which is the reason I lost my job as a taxi driver and 18 marathoners are dead.

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