All Jokes

"I can't believe you intend voting UKIP, a proven racist right wing party, " said this Pakistani Liberal canvasser at my front door.

"Racist party?" I asked, "they have offered to pick every voter of foriegn origin up and take them to the polling booths. Then they have promised to make sure that they get back to where they belong. "
A boy was having sex with a girl on a railway track.

The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore.

He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants.

The driver shouts out to the boy "Do you realise that if I had not seen you, this would have been your last fuck."

Boy: "Listen dude, you were coming... She was cuming... and I was cuming... then I realised that only you had brakes."
Fine Young Cannibals? I don't care what their age is, a fine is inadequate. If you eat another person a prison sentence is the least you deserve.
Diane Abbott will no doubt be re-elected by playing the race card.

No surprise there. She's been doing it for monkeys years.
People think I'm cheap but that's not true, I love spending money.

It's just that the amount of money happens to be "fuck all".

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