All Jokes

The piece of wing suspected to be part of the missing Malaysian flight MH370, which was washed up on a beach on the Island of Reunion, has now arrived in France.

It is believed that it is trying to make it's way to Calais in an attempt to cross the Channel to England.
My wife is dead! No more nagging and no more denied sex. Yippee!

The best part of it is that, as I know how to perform liposuction, I can become a millionaire selling soap after I've watched Fight Club again.
My wife an I couldn't decide which one of my mates we should invite for a nice relaxing barbecue in the park.


In the end we decided to pick Nic.
I guess wallpapering isn't as popular as it used to be. Just at a car boot sale and you wouldn't believe how many people are selling pasting tables.
"And how would you describe my daughter?" my girlfriend's mother quizzed me on meeting her for the first time.

"She reminds me of a glass of milk."

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Because she came out of a cow," I replied.

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