All Jokes

My wife divorced me because I couldn't do math.

After I signed the papers, we went through our 1000 belongings.

She took 700, and I got to keep the other 50%.
I sidled up to a woman at the bar and said "hey love, what's your name?"

She glanced at me and said "Cath"

"Nice" I said "I love the name Catherine"

She rolled her eyes at me and said "bad luck then, my full name is Catheter"

I think she might be a piss taker
So I've just put Sky News on, and I'm wondering why they're showing what seems to be Brad Pitt filming scenes for World War Z 2 in George Square, Glasgow. Why cant they be more original.. the first one already had the run away truck and loads of extras turning into zombies.
With all Christmas shoppers about I had a real awful time trying to park, but I eventually managed to get a good spot near the shops. It was pretty hectic and loads of people were pushing and shoving. It was almost like they were deliberately trying to stop me going where I wanted to go.

Still, could have had a worse first day driving my bin lorry.

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