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"Where the fuck have you been all night?" I demanded to know, as the wife walked in this morning.

"Well me and a few girls from work went out for a couple of drinks when we finished. One drink led to another, then we went clubbing." She explained. "By the end of the night it was just me and Julie left. I was absolutely hammered and I crashed at hers."

"Oh, that's ok then. I said, relieved.

"Not really." She replied. "The car's fucked and I owe her a fence."
Penile plethysmography is used to identify paedophiles by showing them little boy's penises and measuring their erection.

Which is ironic because my fetish involves measuring little boy's erections and showing them my penis.

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