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My wife left me after twenty years marriage because she said I was a hopeless gambler.

Hopeless? Twenty years ago I bet my best man £100 she would.
Kerry Katona's husband, George Kay, has openly admitted that he thinks his marriage "isn't what he thought it would be" and says he's struggling with aspects of married life.

These can be easily broken down:

1. He's a black father and still there.
2. He's married to bankrupt Kerry Katona.
3. Four of her kids aren't his.
4. He's married.
1a. Did I mention he's black?
It's human nature when you hear something bad happening to someone else that you brush it off with something like..... " I'l be alright, that would never happen to me". But then it does.
Well that happened me this morning. I came down stairs and first thing I noticed was the front door was wide open and just I knew something bad happened. The place was a mess, things thrown everywhere, the whole house was pulled apart. I called out for my dog Max but there was no sign of him. After walking around the house in shock I noticed that my car keys were missing and of course, the car was gone.
I didn't ring the authorities straight away, I didn't see the point. I just remember sitting there, head in hands, thinking..... "after all the treats, the walks, rubbing his belly, he'd just up and fuck off, just like that"
When Sepp Blatter was asked if he might be next to be arrested he started coughing loudly.

He then said "sorry I've got a bit of Qatar stuck in my throat."

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