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There's this female friend of mine who was supposed to come by my place to borrow a book. I texted her and asked her when she'll be here. She replied with "Ill cum at ur place by 5". My reply went, "Sure baby, you can cum at my place any time. You cum, and so will I. In fact, I'll cum inside you."

I have no idea why she never replied to me. Such a tease!
if liverpool win the league, i was going to say, there will be a few sore heads for work the next morning,

then i remembered its liverpool
Chelsea have fucked it up on the plus side liverpool will have something different to talk about next year.

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