All Jokes

Are you aware that Walt Disney wrote a song based on Ghandi?

Ghandi walked everywhere which was hard on the soles of his feet. He lived on a sparse vegitarian diet, and was known for his bad breath.

The song goes...

"A super calloused, fragile mystic hexed with halitosis".
I was staring death in the face when my wife kept asking stupid questions.

"Did you remember to lock all the doors?"

"It's not important."

"What about the TV, did you turn it off?"

"It doesn't really matter right now!"

"Did we feed the dog?"

"Look, just shut the fuck up and keep driving!"
A recent telephone conversation with my wife turned into an argument. She called me a "stupid cunt", so I slammed the phone down.

Which kind of proved her point, because I cracked the screen on my iPhone.

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