All Jokes

I was in London with my fat bitch of a wife today, she decided she wanted an ice cream and waddled off to get one, so I passed the time by doing a bit of people watching.


I noticed two Japanese tourist snapping away with their cameras, they were both backing up trying to get a better shot of their respective targets.


I could see they were going to back into each other but I thought fuck them I'm not going to warn them, as I fucking hate Japs after what they did to Pearl Harbour.


Anyway, sure enough they bumped into each other and both turned around to apologise.


One Jap said to the other "are you from Japan?"


The other replied "yes I am."


The first Jap said "that's a coincidence I'm from Japan too."


The other then asked "what part of Japan are you from?"


"Tokyo" he replied.


"I'm from Tokyo too, it's a small world isn't it?"


"Yes it is" chortled the other slanty eyed cunt "which part of Tokyo are you from?"


"I live in the suburbs" came the reply " the Shingshongpingpong area to be exact."


"Fuck me, I live in Shingshongpingpong too!"


Amazed at the further coincidence one of the Japs asked "who do you work for?"


"The council" came the reply.


"Fucking hell, I work for the council too which department do you work in?"


"Sanitation, I work below ground in the sewers" came the reply.


"Me too, what a fucking coincidence this is, what shift do you work on?"


"Nights" came the reply.


"This is freaky, I work nights too I can't believe we haven't bumped into each other before."


At this point the wife waddled back over to me and asked what was going on.


"I'm not 100% sure but I think these two guys are the original two nips who passed in the shite."
Jewism sure has an element of eternal truth, in the same page as Saudis:

Today schools run by an ultra-Orthodox Jewish community in London warned in a letter that women members were banned from driving their children to the premises. The letter said women drivers were contrary to the rules of religious modesty for the Hasidic community.
Ahead of FIFA 16 EA have removed the ' park the bus' feature.
It's fair enough, if women can't even park a smart car how can we expect them to park a bus?
My daughters black boyfriend has found a job! He's starting at Walls on Monday, stirring the vanilla ice cream.
It's not that he works harder than anyone else and they had a lot of applicants, but he is much easier to find when he falls in.
I notice in the FIFA elections it's Sepp Blatter against Jordanian Prince Ali bin al-Hussein.

Thats a bit like deciding wether to get Jimmy Saville or Kate and Gerry McCann to babysit your daughter.

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