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Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Nangleberry Keen, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged gang rape , statistics , 9 out of 10  - Current Score: 17483 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Suicide - Tagged suicide , books , librarian  - Current Score: 17321 - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
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Joke by bobbydgg, in Illness and mortality > Children - Tagged sex , daughter , doctors , appendix , little johnny  - Current Score: 8380 - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago

A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a toothpick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp leaves.

A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.

There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."

"No, a straw," says the Tramp.

The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.

To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".
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Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Tramps / Homeless - Tagged eat , bum , tramps , sick , vomit , tramp , food , pub , bar , homeless , puke , warm , meal , landlord , straw , hurl , bums , toothpick  - Current Score: 5579 - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by dobbsey, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , blacks , racism , racist , nigger , paki , crime , white basterd   - Current Score: 4788 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago

My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead.
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Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > Domestic Violence - Tagged wife , ring , mood  - Current Score: 4621 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago

Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
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Joke by justincider, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged death , family , perfect  - Current Score: 4561 - Added: 9 months ago

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to."
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Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , plane , english , paris , france , immigration , bag , passport , juno beach , 1944 , cheese eating surrender monkeys , dday  - Current Score: 3974 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

Ah, it's the time of day when all the American inbred retards swarm the site and think, "Don't get that. Must be crap. Vote it down, down, down."

I have visited American so-called 'Sick Joke' sites and the wankers actually apologise after posting a sick joke! Strange how they find sick jokes offensive, but don't mind bombing the fuck out of innocent human beings (us British included)!

Well, here's a little friendly fire for all you God-fearing, nappy-wearing, sister-shagging retards:

Fuck off and find a knock-knock joke site. That will be much more to your shandy-drinking style, I think.
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Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , wankers , yanks , rednecks  - Current Score: 3963 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago

Statistically... 9/11 Americans won't get this joke.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ncoreos, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged 911 , retarded , statistically , americans  - Current Score: 3740 - Added: 4 months, 10 days ago

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