MSN News: Alex Reid claims he tells Jordan he loves her "50 million times a day."
That would mean you tell her every 0.001728 seconds then, Alex, you retarded, spotlight-grabbing, fame-seeking man-whore. And, by the way, Jordan is a dirty fucking slag.
P.S. Come and pick your fucking spade up - he's drinking out of the toilet again.
Homeless and out of work, Peter Andre goes for a job interview working down a coal mine.
"So Mr Andre, why do you think you're the right man for this job?" asks the interviewer.
"Well, I've been working with slag for the best part of four years now, mate," he replies. "And also I know how to handle a spade."