Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films.
"Okay," I said. "You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up."
What's the difference between putting your hand in Kylie's blouse and driving a Skoda?
You feel a right tit driving a Skoda!
"Is the cup half full, or half empty?"
For fuck's sake just buy the bra, Kylie.
Rick Astley walks into rehab.
The receptionist says, "Fuck off - you're never gonna give it up."
I am writing to offer my deepest sympathy for the split up of Oasis. I too know what it is like having a talentless sibling achieving fame and fortune on the back of our skill and hard work. We are better off without these fucking leeches
All the best,
I love that "Barbara Streisand" song. I've got it on repeat in my car, or Radio 1 as most people call it.
James Blunt, Britney Spears and Westlife are on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?
The world of music.
The only thing worse than finding out you were given up for adoption would be finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up.
Inside Nature's Giants:
Really regret selling channel 4 that sex tape of me and Beth Ditto.
Well I know what Rick Astley HASN'T given up for lent.