Oscar Pistorius Jokes
Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't try to surprise
"If you'd had a tin of shoe polish, you could have blackened her up and got away with it," I said to Oscar Pistorius, laughing.
Then I realised that was in bad taste. Why would he have a tin of shoe polish?
New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.
I see what Pistorius is doing; he is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released... Bam! President of South Africa.
That's how it works over there, right?
Oscar Pistorius has said he won't be entering any further races.
I think he has to worry more about different races entering him, once he's in prison.
I heard a funny noise whilst in bed last night so I jumped up and did all the usual stuff - checked the front door, checked the windows, shot my girlfriend five times, checked the back door.
Turns out there was no one there!
South African police have installed state of the art technology outside the bail address of Oscar Pistorius to ensure he doesn't leave.
A cattle grid.
First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It"
Reeva Steenkamp didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her.
It was the silence of the limbs.
When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?