Vladimir Putin Jokes

To commemorate World War One in 2014:

The French - Are erecting a statue in each village

The Germans - Are lowering their flags each day

The British - Are having a season of programmes on the BBC

The Russians - Cordially invite you to World War 3 commencing in the Ukraine
I'm having a great time at the Winter Olympics in Sochi and I've just had the honour of playing poker with the one and only Vladimir Putin.

You should have seen his fucking face when I beat him with a pair of queens.
Vladimir Putin has lashed out at Prince Charles for comparing him to Hitler, saying "it's not what monarchs do".

Quite right; English monarchs quell uprisings (Henry VIII), burn heretics (Mary I), execute rebels (Richard II), and cut off their opponent's testicles (Edward I), so quit being a whining pussy and suck up your Hitler comparison, Mr Putin.