Hats off to the Icelandic people.
First they declared themselves bankrupt...
Then they set their island on fire....
Anyone else smell the mother of all insurance frauds?
The family of an 8 year old boy who burned to death in an arson attack have issued a statement, saying that they are devastated at their loss.
I know the feeling, I burnt my toast this morning.
I put in a complaint about my neighbours last night.
I was trying to get to sleep and they were shouting, screaming, banging on the windows, then to top it all their fucking smoke alarm started going off.
Anyway I think it worked, I haven't heard a peep from them today.
My budgie broke his leg so I used a couple of matches as a splint.
Unfortunately, I'd also lined his cage with sandpaper.
I accidentally put diesel instead of petrol in my ex-girlfriend's car.
It was a nightmare getting it to light.
I just love the smell of Grannies cooking.
And that's why I torched the old peoples' home.
I saw on the news the other day that there had been a fire at the homeless shelter and it burned down.
I thought: "What are they NOW... homelesser?!"
I'm joking! ...They were trapped inside, they're all dead.
When I found out my wife of 3 years had been cheating on me with my brother I took everything she owned into the back garden, and set fire to it.
Shame about the puppy... And her 8 year old son.
My brother has just set fire to one of my Mr Men books.
No more Mr Nice Guy.
Ironically, my flat on Tottenham High Road now resembles the cunts who torched it.
Black, vacant and completely fucking useless.