Drugs Jokes

Interesting Human Body Facts

- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.

- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).

- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

- If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.

- Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

- Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.

- Women blink twice as much as men.

- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.

- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!

- Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.

- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

*** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you?
"Give us an E, mate."

"I'm an undercover police officer."

Give me an N
Give me a G
Give me an L
Give me an A
Give me an N
Give me a D
Goooooo England!"

Got away with that one, I think.
An elephant, an ostrich and a crocodile stop a bloke in the street.
The crocodile pulls out a police badge and says, "We have reason to believe you are carrying substances of an hallucinogenic nature, Sir."
Security stopped me at the airport last night.

He said, "Do you mind if we search your luggage?"

I said, "It depends, what for?"

He said, "Drugs."

I said, "In that case, no."
Whoever put "Too Cool to Do Drugs" on a pencil is a spastic.

Every time you sharpen it, it changes to "Cool to Do Drugs", then "Do Drugs" and eventually "Drugs".
I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.

Until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.