Genocide Jokes

Hitler walks into the meeting room and turns to his trusted staff.
"I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten."
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. "You see, no one cares about the Jews."
I went to a party last night. I thought I looked pretty smart, but some Jewish cunt said, "The '70s called... They want their shirt back!"

I said, "The '40s called... Your shower's ready."
"Wake up, Jesus! It's time for your second coming." said God.

"It's been nearly 2000 years and my wounds still hurt." replies Jesus, whilst picking up a razor to trim his beard. "I was crucified, tortured and humiliated by my fellow Jews."

"Snap out of it boy" replied God.

Jesus, having nearly finished his shave, turns to God and asks, 'what time is it?'

"It's 12:30, August 2nd, 1934."

"No," said Jesus, leaving a small patch of hair under his nose, "It's payback time."
The top SS officers in Auschwitz are bored one day and decide to hold a competition.
One grabs a Jew and asks, "You, how high can you jump?"
The Jew replies, "I don't know, about half a meter?"
"Okay," says the officer, "here is half a loaf of bread."
The other Jews in the area hear this and get closer to the guards.
"You how high can you jump?"
"One meter."
"Wow! Here is one loaf of bread."
"You how high can you jump?"
"Two meters."
"Amazing! You can have two loaves of bread."
"You how high can you jump?"
"FIVE METERS!"
At this point, the SS officer yells, "QUICK! SHOOT HIM BEFORE HE JUMPS OVER THE FENCE!"