Gun Crime Jokes
A little bit of Jessica on the steps....
Mumbai No 5.
I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan.
Having not seen my wife for several months, I was looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex with her.
Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a fucking towel wrapped round her head and I shot her!
The clerk takes out a scope and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house," the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets. I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"
The thing is, this tragic event could have been averted had the parents had the foresight to buy the younger brother his own gun so he could defend himself.
The Sniper shrugged and replied, "Recoil".
With a witty remark like that, I think it would be fair to call that sniper a real "sharp" shooter!
I said, "What'd you bet on?"
He said, "I bet him all the money in the till that I had a gun."
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
Good fucking shot!