Joyriding Jokes

My car mounted the curb this morning outside my local post office and knocked down 10 postmen picketing outside.

That must be some sort of a strike
A little boy and his dad are driving down a road in their 4x4. The little boy is too short to see out of the windows. Suddenly there is a thud.

"Daddy, what was that?" The little boy asks.
"It's OK son, just a rabbit. This car can take it" The dad replies.

A couple of minutes later there is another, slightly larger, thud.

"Daddy, that thud was bigger, what was it?" The boy asks.
"Everything is fine. It was just a fox. The car can take it." The dad replies.

A couple of minutes later there is a small thud followed by a much bigger thud.

"Daddy, I'm scared. If you don't tell me what those thuds was, I am getting out of the car," The boy nearly cries.
"Its OK son. It was just a Paki. Had to mount the curb to get him though" The dad replied.
I don't need an expensive security system in my car, just some wires sticking out of a rucksack and a copy of the Koran next to it on the drivers seat ensures it will never get touched.
I was about to get pulled over on the motorway for speeding by traffic cops today.

Luckily for me. A little old black woman came screaming past at about 130 in a Toyota, looking all flustered and nervous.
The police immediately switched on the sirens and went belting off after her.

They must have been thinking the same thing as I was thinking.

Yep, she's probably fucking nicked it.