Murder Jokes

"I've got a new nickname for you," I told my wife today.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Bambi," I replied.

"Aww, is that 'cos I've got beautiful eyes?" she asked.

"No, it's because I've just killed your mum," I replied.
My son will soon be getting to that age where he acts like my cat. He'll start bringing birds home in such poor condition I'll have to take them into the backyard and kill them with a brick.