Necrophilia Jokes

I had a terrible dream about me going to the fridge and it being empty. I woke up screaming and ran to the fridge. I felt a great relief when I opened it and my daughter was still in there.
When I woke up this morning the wife was cold, blue and didn't appear to be breathing.

I called NHS 24 and the woman on the phone said "Have you tried doing anything yet? "

"Just a bit of doggy" I replied
This guy in my office thought he was being so funny when he said he fucked my mum. So I responded by saying I fucked his nan.

At this point he became rather upset and explained he has recently buried his nan. To which I simply replied "no wonder she wasn't very talkative then".