I'm not a fan of anal sex with dead people anymore.
In fact, I only did it once in a blue moon.
After years of deception, I decided to finally try being truthful with my wife. "Darling," I began, "I sometimes dream of having anal sex with our daughter."
"Over my dead fucking body!" she screamed.
Apparently, she knows me better than I thought.
When I woke up this morning the wife was cold, blue and didn't appear to be breathing.
I called NHS 24 and the woman on the phone said "Have you tried doing anything yet? "
"Just a bit of doggy" I replied
I've had sex with about 31 women in my life, and not one has had an orgasm.
I really need to stop killing them first.
I think my wife's been cheating on me with an undertaker.
I could swear her clothes were on when she died.