Vandalism Jokes

Some of the best graffiti ever seen.

On the back of somebody's filthy car was:

'I wish my wife was this dirty'

Underneath that was:

'She is for a fiver.'
I left a note on my neighbour's car asking him to stop parking in front of my house.

I couldn't find any paper, so I used my car key instead.
So blacks are destroying our fair city?

I distinctly remember a prominent man in history who had a solution for this....
The police brought my son home the other night.

They said, "We caught him throwing petrol bombs at the local mosque. We have let him off with a warning but I'm sure you'll have some stern words for him too!"

"I certainly will, officer," I said as I turned towards my son. "Don't let me ever catch you throwing petrol bombs again! Do you think we're made of fucking money? Use bricks like I do, you stupid tosser."
I was chucked off a building site for not wearing a "high visibility jacket".

Well, if I was so invisible, how come 15 people correctly identified me as the person who threw a brick at the gaffers BMW afterwards?