So Jesus was crucified on Good Friday and rose from the dead on the Sunday?
Just in time for half price Easter eggs. Typical fucking Jew.
I love Jesus.
He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate.
Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself, "What would Jesus do?"
Then I remember Jesus got crucified, so his decision making skills obviously weren't brilliant.
I couldn't afford to buy all my kids Easter eggs, and I didn't want them to wake up disappointed this morning.
So I killed them in their sleep.
Why is Easter an Alzheimer patient's favourite holiday?
They get to hide their own eggs.