Mothers Day Jokes
My wife misunderstands Mother's Day.
She is not my fucking mother and if our 2 year old daughter doesn't love her enough to go out and buy her a present it's not my problem.
On Mother's Day, I always write poems about my mother's sudden death.
She has said she'd prefer some flowers.
My mate just texted me by accident wishing me a happy Mother's Day.
Fortunately, she stayed over last night so I could pass the message on for him.
"Well I know someone who's not getting a Mother's day card!" I shouted.
As I walked out of the abortion clinic.
A day when mothers and sons can reform their bond with one another.
We call it 'Mother's Day', the Italian's call it 'Festa Della Mamma'.
Pakis call it 'Valentines Day'
Unwanted mothers day present for sale.
Please contact Mr J.Tweed.
"I'm the mother!"
"No, I'm the mother."
"No! I am!"
"I want to be the mother."
"Listen you cunt! Without me you're a fucking penniless nobody, remember that. Now then. Who's the mother?"
"You are Elton."
...Or as I like to call it, 'Spend a fucking fortune on the wife, on behalf of the kids, and hopefully you'll get your leg over Day'.
Happy Mother's Day to all my neighbours on the estate.
Remember: if you go out for a meal, take it easy on the WKD as you've got school tomorrow and its nearly GCSE time.
According to Kate McCann, today is one of the hardest days to bear, when it is all brought back to her.
A sunny day when you leave the windows open.