Mothers Day Jokes

My wife misunderstands Mother's Day.

She is not my fucking mother and if our 2 year old daughter doesn't love her enough to go out and buy her a present it's not my problem.
A day when mothers and sons can reform their bond with one another.
We call it 'Mother's Day', the Italian's call it 'Festa Della Mamma'.
Pakis call it 'Valentines Day'
"I'm the mother!"

"No, I'm the mother."

"No! I am!"

"I want to be the mother."

"Listen you cunt! Without me you're a fucking penniless nobody, remember that. Now then. Who's the mother?"

"You are Elton."
According to Kate McCann, today is one of the hardest days to bear, when it is all brought back to her.

A sunny day when you leave the windows open.