??? Other Jokes
Facebook is apparently down. Millions of mothers worldwide have to raise their babies now instead of posting updates about them..
So October becomes stoptober, give up smoking month and some bright spark has decided that we should give up drinking as well for the month. We only need to be told to try and give up bacon and there it is.
Ramadan by stealth.
How come the Mayans can predict everyone will die...
but when I do it I get kicked out of the cancer ward?
Well a predictable climax to the sports personality of the year.
As I knocked one out to Jessica Ennis
"Excuse me sir, could you give up your seat please?" said the bus driver, as a pregnant girl got on.
"No way, she should have fucked someone with a car"
North Korea is like that angry drunk guy at a party.
Everyone is trying to calm him down but he's convinced he needs to fight someone.
Today is Yorkshire day and world cancer day. So if you live in Yorkshire, and have got cancer, you must be having a fucking whale of a time.
'Alcohol is free'
Not a bad entry from Greece but it explains why their economy is fucked up.
Judas looked at the piece of stale bread that was offered with dismay. Then the foul smell of the bitter wine.
"Is there anything wrong Judas?" Asked Jesus,
"Well Jesus," Replied Judas, " I don't know what the rest of the lads think, but whoever organized this piss up wants fucking crucifying."
I'm really looking forward to getting home tonight, switching on the telly and getting a good 12 hours entertainment during the Children In Need marathon.
I've bought the Die Hard box-set. 16