About - Sickipedia

Welcome to Sickipedia

Book

Rob Manuel from B3ta compiled a book called The Bumper B3ta Book of Sick Jokes, frankly it was a miracle it was published as the material was so foul as to receive complaints from the public at both Borders and Waterstones.

As good as the book is (and it's very good), we realised that by publishing a book, we'd only encourage MORE AND MORE jokes to be sent to us, hence we've built into the project a place to catch all this stuff. We call it Sickipedia.

About

Every time there is a big story - say a murder or a disaster, following the news comes the jokes. Psychologists probably have something to say about this, but not us, we just want to be the number one place for finding, recording and disseminating this material.

To put it bluntly - we want to hear your nasty jokes. And in return? Well, you can sit here and read more of the little blighters.

Add your jokes, and please edit other peoples stuff to improve the grammar, spelling and indeed humour.

The end result will be the finest website in the whole damn world. We have faith in you.

But please note. If we really like your jokes, we reserve the right to make another book using this material. However, we might not. So don't submit anything if this worries you.

User Guidelines

Good

* Adding short jokes.
* Using correct spelling, grammar, punctuation and capitalisation.
* Correcting spelling, grammar, punctuation and capitalisation.
* Voting is encouraged – however, please don’t be too eager to vote. If you simply don’t get a joke then please hold back from voting it down. You’ll kick yourself if you get it a few minutes later and realise that you wish you’d voted it up.
* Adding or editing tags, to make them concise, pithy and accurate, or correcting invalid tag syntax. For example, "black white cat dog" to "black, white, cat, dog".
* Use UK English spelling - that's ‘apologise’ not ‘apologize’.
* Before posting, dropping a couple of keywords into the Search box to see what comes back. Mods are encouraged to remove duplicates, but life would be much nicer if they didn't have to.
* If you spot a duplicate, try to locate the original and merge it. However, please only do this judiciously - we don’t want to be flooded with complaints that two jokes were merged because eight words were similar.
* Attributing jokes to their original sources (comedians, television programmes, etc) in tags beneath jokes.

Bad

* Using Q: and A: in the joke. It's unnecessary and frankly pointless.
* Curly quotes - use "this" not “this”.
* Don't bugger
up the
newlines
* WRITING IN CAPS MEANS YOU ARE A MENTAL.
* Think before using that exclamation mark! You certainly never need to use three!!!
* Txt spk - Use correct grammar and punctuation.
* Adding joke attributions (comedians, television programmes, etc) in the body of a joke.
* Vandalism.
* Pasting multiple jokes into the same post. Equally, it's wise not to post too many jokes all at one go as this tends to annoy people who have written jokes which disappear off the front page too quickly.
* Jokes that make no sense whatsoever.
* Private jokes - not everyone knows your ginger friend. Obviously. After all, he’s ginger.
* Cutting and pasting jokes from other websites. We are aware of the internet. We have access.
* It is considered bad form to post questions to other members by adding to the bottom of their jokes.
* Deleting jokes and sections because you don't like them. If you have a serious complaint about a joke, email a member of the Admin Team. Remember, we care.
* Adding text which isn't actually a joke. Like the name of a football team or a politician. Please. We only have so many ribs.
* Posting abusive comments at the bottom of jokes or in the tags beneath them. If you don't like a joke, please constrain yourself to voting it down. If enough people feel the same way then it will be buried and deleted soon enough. If you wish to comment or ask a question, please PM the user directly by clicking on their user name and then on Send {username} a Message.
* If your jokes are deleted, this probably means that they were either being voted down substantially or they were duplicates. It’s nothing personal. Usually.
* Please do not vandalise other member's jokes by changing the punchlines. If you don't like a joke, kindly restrain yourself to voting it down. If you disapprove of or are offended by a joke, you are probably on the wrong website.
* Please don't add DUPLICATE to the bottom of jokes or in the body of a joke. If you do spot a duplicate, please just locate the original, copy it into the new joke and then merge/delete as appropriate.
* Voting down jokes to make yours look more impressive or picking on one user and deliberately voting down all their jokes. We can monitor the site stats, you know.
* Please don't re-post jokes after they have been deleted as duplicates. Maintaining this site is a lot of work as it is and, some days, it’s hard to resist just dismantling the entire internet just to make the noise stop.
* Posting racist tracts. Some jokes are racist or prejudicial by their nature but just because we laugh at them doesn’t mean we subscribe to any racist rhetoric. If that’s your thing then fuck off to a racist website where the NSA or whoever can monitor your tiny, petty little minds.
* Don’t censor your f**king swear words. It’s like reading porn with all the organs covered up and it’s frankly pointless. We all know what the asterisks stand for and if we didn’t then we wouldn’t fucking understand the joke.

General Guidelines

This is a jokes website and an online community and, as such, it is important that is does not degenerate into a slanging match between the users. If you have a complaint about any other users of this site then please contact the Admin Team (by clicking Report this action to an administrator) who will consider the situation and attempt to resolve any issues fairly. Otherwise just shut up.

Likewise, please don't use the front page to launch accusations or abuse. If you have a complaint about a specific user then please report him or her to the Admin Team and we will investigate and take appropriate action if necessary.

Bear in mind that we pretty much all have access to a television set and have probably all seen every episode of Mock the Week (so yes, Frankie Boyle, sometimes you should credit us).

FAQs

Why has my joke been deleted?
Lots of jokes sink without trace and get deleted on here - often it depends on the demographic of the audience at the time when you post which, in turn, depends on the time of day that you post. Some jokes have sunk, been re-posted and done well at a different hour. Alternatively, consider that you just might not be as funny as those under-achievers who you carefully select as your entourage encourage you to think that you are.

Why has my joke been merged?
Jokes are merged because they are substantially similar to pre-existing jokes already on the site. Please don’t complain that a joke which wasn’t quite identical has been merge/deleted. You might think that changing ‘Michael Jackson’ to ‘Gary Glitter’ or using a different football team has made the joke completely different but it hasn’t. No, really.

I am being abused. What can I do?
Abuse of other members either by PM, in jokes, in tags or in the Forums will not be tolerated. Report any personal abuse directly to the Admin Team who are poised like coiled springs ready to leap into action. Some posters on here are merely escaped lunatics and it helps if we can advise the hospitals who their latest absconders might be.

Moderation

As a Guest, you can vote, add new jokes, and browse the whole database.
As a regular user, you can vote, add jokes (and be credited), edit jokes and tags, move jokes, and browse the database.
As a moderator, you can do everything a regular user can, plus delete and merge duplicate jokes.

You become a moderator when you get 150 points. But what ARE points? Well, it's simple.

* Adding a joke gets you a point.
* Editing a joke for grammar gets you a point.
* Adding tags to an untagged joke gets you 2 points.
* Your submitted jokes have a score. If a joke is voted to +10, you gain 10 points.

Help! My question wasn't answered!

Generally, just be sensible, and don't be destructive, and further questions can be added to our feedback form.

Where is everyone?