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Like a lot of people I've abandoned my local shops in favour of large supermarkets. Mostly because I can't be bothered learning three different languages. |
 
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I used to be poor... Then I bought a Thesaurus, and now I'm impecunious. |
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I hate when I'm in a hurry at the bank and I get a really chatty cashier. "What kind of a gun is that?" "Where did you get it?" "Does it come in different colours?" |
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| I'm so Muslim I can't even watch Kevin bacon. |
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I'm not saying my little old granddad is unlucky but he died in the middle of the desert. Witnesses said it was the most unusual shark attack ever. |
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"You don't love me as much as you used to." My fat wife cried. "Of course I do." I said. "It's just got a much larger area to cover." |
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I think that everyone who lives in the Middle East should get to vote in the US election, because it actually affects them more than anyone else in the world. If you're Bill from Texas, whoever gets elected as president is just a figurehead you blame your life problems on. That's it. No connection. But if you're Yusuf from Afghanistan, it actually fucking matters - who gets elected determines the size of your next family reunion. |
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Joke
submitted by Black Dragon37, originally by Bobby Mair in Racism - American (+ 2 more) - Added: 17 hours ago - Current Score: 31.6
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My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep.. "I know" was probably not the right answer. |
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I think my dog may have become a student. He is now sleeping about 22 hours a day. |
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I read that Liverpool has the UK's highest rate of hatchback car ownership. I thought, that can't be right, as I'd read somewhere else that Liverpool has the UK's lowest rate of hatchback car sales. And then I remembered; Scousers. |
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