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I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!" He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?" "No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn." |
 
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Joke
by Marc Gatland in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,001.4
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I was taking a shit in a public toilet today when I noticed a cock slowly emerge from a hole in the wall. Which was handy because I'd run out of toilet paper and needed something to wipe with. |
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I was having a Shit in the job centre today, when I noticed there was no toilet paper. It made a bit of a blotch on my C.V. |
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My daughter was playing Just Dance in the living room today when my wife decided to have a go. They're both now playing it in our new basement. |
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| Everything was going so well in the driving range today until some cunt smashed in my windscreen with a golf ball. |
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My daughter invited some friends round at the weekend. After a few drinks, they got a game of Truth or Dare going. I listened from the other room, being the nosey little fucker I am.
The bottle landed on my daughter and she said, "Truth." "Ok," asked her friend. "When did you last have an orgasm?" She said, "Three days ago." Then I burst in the room and said, "I knew you were faking it last n [...] |
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Joke
by I shit on the bed when im bored in Sex and shit - Incest - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 63.8
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I was driving home from work when I got a phone call from my son. He said, "I think mummy is dying. She's been screaming since I got home from school." "Oh my god," I replied. "Okay, don't panic. Just talk to her for me, alright?" He said, "I can't, she's locked herself in the bedroom with another man." |
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Joke
by I shit on the bed when im bored in Sex and shit - ??? General - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 1.6
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I was telling a friend about an ancient tale to bring wealth, health and happiness to your family and I told him I had been doing it.
I told him I got a blood orange and a red apple, I had to soak them overnight in a pot with some hair or a nail from the members of my family. In the morning, and this bit is critical, you have to put the apple and the orange into specific places. So I put the apple in a shoe but it had be a right shoe. He said "w [...] |
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A guy in a wheelchair sped over my foot today in the town. "You better watch where you're going next time." I told him. He said, "I'm handicapped, you can't do anything." I said, "No, you're handicapped, you can't do anything." |
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Joke
by I shit on the bed when im bored in Illness and mortality - Wheelchair - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 160.6
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A guy doing surveys approached me earlier. He said, "Can I ask you a few questions?" "Yes," I replied. He said, "Have you ever been unnecessarily attacked?" "No," I laughed. Then he smacked me in the face with his clipboard. |
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Joke
by I shit on the bed when im bored in Other - Childish - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 6.8
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