I told her that it's okay and all will be forgiven if I can watch next time.
"Dave"! She exclaimed. "How could you suggest such a thing"?
"Oh c'mon"! I replied, "Don't fucking act like you're the one being hard done by here, either I get to watch, or it's over".
"For fuck sake Dave, she's your sister".
Like the girl I ran over on the zebra crossing this morning.
She didn't even look out of her pram, for fuck's sake!
I've decided to go. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, I'm 43 for fuck sake.
Shuffling her body slightly she moaned ''For fuck sake is that it, I can't feel a thing.''
''Sorry Katie,'' I said,''Give me a minute to remove my leg and i will try my penis.''
"Wayne, is there anything I can do to make you stay?
"Well there is one thing boss: you must have read in the paper that I'm partial to a bit of talent - the older the better."
The next day Ferguson phones Rooney.
"I don't want this getting out Wayne, but I've organised a little something for you, be at Old Trafford in half an hour."
Rooney arrives with a semi and is met by Ferguson who takes him through to the hospitality suite. He opens the door, licking his lips in anticipation and sees a figure stretching out on the sofa.
"For fuck's sake, I didn't mean Scholes boss."
"For fuck's sake," I said. "That part always gets a big laugh in our ventriloquist act, especially when I make him roll his eyes into the back of his head."
As they are about to kiss each other goodnight, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her: 'Darling, would you give me a blow job?'
Horrified, she replies 'Are you mad? My parents will see us!'
Him: 'Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?'
Her: 'No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?'
Him: 'Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!'
Her: 'No way. It's just too risky!'
Him (horny as hell): 'Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?'
Her: 'No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!'
Him: 'Oh yes you can. Please?'
Her: 'No, no. I just can't'
Him: 'I beg you ... '
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's 13 year old sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice she says: 'Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Otherwise I can do it. Or if need be, dad says he can come down himself and do it. But for fuck sake! Tell him to take his hand off the intercom...'
Lonely man seeks wife.
I got over a thousand replies all men saying for fuck sake take mine.