Similar Jokes

A lot of countries dislike Americans because they refuse to learn a second language. That's just fucking stupid.

I dislike them for not learning their first one.
After claims Justin Bieber had fathered a child, his management said, "While we haven't yet seen the lawsuit, it's sad that someone would fabricate malicious, defamatory and demonstrably false claims."

"We will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations."

A lot of unnecessary words when all they had to say was, "You all know he loves cock."
Three prisoners were performing hard labor in the Russian Gulag when they began discussing the reason they were sent there by the authorities. The first prisoner began, "I was a half hour late to work, and was found guilty of withholding labor. 'From each according to his ability,' they said." The second prisoner says, "I arrived to work an hour early, and was found guilty of brown nosing. 'To each according to his need,' they explained." The third prisoner finally spoke, "I got to work on time everyday, and was found guilty of possessing a capitalist wristwatch."
Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London .

Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign said 'Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair.'

Paddy says to his pal, 'Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get back to Ireland , we could make a fortune.

Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear your accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent. '

'Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will.' Says Mick.

They go in and Paddy says, 'I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and...'

The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from Ireland , aren't you?'

'Well ..... yes,' says a surprised Paddy. 'How der hell d'y'know dat?

The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners.'
I've noticed a lot of crap paki jokes lately, people seem to think if they arse lick Sickipedians and slate pakis that they'll get their jokes voted up into the top ten.

You certainly won't find me trying to curry favour like that.
As an American I was astonished to learn that 20% of Americans do not know which country the United States declared independence from.

I'd just like to say that the other 60% of us know that we declared independence from Great Britain. We're not stupid.
I was watching the news earlier, and they had this story about the milk produced from cloned cows entering the market. Apparently a lot of people are against it citing it to be very unnatural and even dangerous to your health.
At one point their expert stated that "experts who have studied cloned milk have always concluded that it is identical to regular milk."

I couldn't help but think; that's kind of the fucking point, isn't it?
Those Pakistanis think they have it so rough.

When are they going to learn every country has a crisis at some point?

Why just recently in my country, we had to deal with the anguish of seeing an old lady putting cat in a wheelie bin.