I'll never forget the first time I met my wife.
If two bottles of whisky doesn't do it, then nothing will.
I'll never forget the first time I met my wife - although I'll keep trying.
I distinctly remember the first time I met my wife, she was stood outside a pawnbrokers shop picking her teeth.
Then she went in and bought them.
I said to my wife today, " I'll never forget the first time we met, although, I'll keep trying."
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Your so narrow minded when you walk your earings knock together.
Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.
The first time I met my wife, she looked like the back end of a horse.
I should stop trying to pull at pantomimes.
I remember the first time I met my wife.
Platinum blonde hair, incredible breasts, an arse I couldn't help but touch.
And that's when the stripper screamed for security and the fat bitch threw me out.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "paedophile" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend was 21 and I am 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
I'll never forget the embarrassment when I hit my wife in public.
But it was my first time, and I'm a lot better at it now.
I'll never forget the first time I made eye contact with my wife.
Best punch I ever landed.