There's a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned to Bob and said, "Times are getting tough, my friend. I mean, just today my wife told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week - I can't believe it."
At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and said reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad? She's cut some guys out altogether."
Every weekend, my neighbour has a huge house party with loud music, and I have to sit there listening to my wife tell me to 'Sort it out'. After hearing enough, I would proceed to walk to my neighbour's door and argue with him for 45 minutes straight before storming back into the house. It never accomplished anything, but my wife is really proud of me for being persistent and spending 45 minutes of my life every weekend just to make her happy.
I think she'd be a little less proud if she knew I was trying to get myself invited...