Similar Jokes

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about, never knowing where he was or, sometimes, even who he was. She decided to take him to a nursing home.

At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair. Suddenly the man started slowly leaning to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up. A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side. Then he started leaning forward. This time the nurse strapped him into the chair.

After completing the paperwork, his wife walked up to him and asked, "So are you sure this place is okay?"

"It's okay," he said, "but why won't they let me fart?"
Scientists say that one in four in Britain will get swine flu.

All of Scotland, England and Northern Ireland are keeping their fingers crossed it will be Wales.

A charred body has been found on the Dyke golf course in Sussex.

Police say that one foot was missing below the shin.

A spokesman said, "We can't identify gender or age at this stage but at least we know what his handicap was!"
"Find your ideal partner on Facebook!"

No thanks, I can safely say that one quality I am not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm.