Similar Jokes

I tried to have the "sex conversation" with my son today.
But, being a teenager, he said "No dad, piss off".
I knew there was no point trying to talk to him now so I took my lube and left.
My wife asked me to have the sex talk with our daughter today.

At first she was listening and asking questions, but when I brought up Golden Showers, Anal Fisting and Teabagging she ran off crying.
My fourteen-year-old daughter has now got a boyfriend, so last night my wife decided it was time for me to have the 'Sex Talk' with her.

Cock ready in hand and with a heavy breath, I phoned her up and said, "What are you wearing?"
My dad never had the sex talk with me. He just told me to watch porn and I'll learn all I need to know about women.

I'm not so sure he was right though, because every girl I approach with a 2 foot dildo and lube just ends up calling the cops.