Similar Jokes

Dear Viagra,

Could you please consider changing the label's on your bottles, that's almost three weeks now and my cock is still as hard as fuck.
The label said take 20 minutes before sex, turns out taking 20, minutes before sex was not what you meant.
I think as the years have gone by, series by series, I'm starting to feel that Doctor Who is losing its sense of realism.

I mean come on, we're now upto ten different doctors and there's not a Paki in sight!
Paddy's brother, Seamus, started a new job in the Middle East and phoned Paddy after he got settled in.
Seamus said , "De job's going well, but it's so fecking hot out here!
Paddy asked, "How hot is it out dere, Seamus?"
Seamus replied, "It's 45 degrees Celsius in de shade."
Paddy was astonished. "Bejesus, that IS fecking hot! Whatever you do, Seamus, try to keep out of de shade."
Me and my wife were getting frisky the other night. I didn't have any condoms in the house though, so I had to use a balloon. It was great.

The best part was blowing it up for my son's birthday party the next day and watching as one of the kids popped it.
I went to see the Doctor today because I had a rash on my dick...

apparently the sonic screwdriver doesn't do wood.
I took my wife out for dinner the other night but halfway through the meal she complained I never treated her...

I told the ungrateful bitch that she can pay for her own big mac next time.