Similar Jokes

A good friend came up to me looking very pale. "My wife's got cancer. They don't think she's going to make it."

"At least you'll be free of that bitch in a few months."

"Please don't say things like that."

"I was only joking, I'm sorry if I offended you."

"Oh no, I just didn't want you to jinx it."
My best friend came up to me yesterday and said, "This is a photo of me when I was younger."

I replied, "Every photo is of when you were younger."
My friend came up to me last night and said, "I can't wait for your fancy-dress party on New Years Eve. I'm coming as a giant cock and my girlfriend, Lisa, is coming as the balls. It's going to be hilarious".

It certainly will be. I'm not having a fancy-dress party.
My friend came up to me and said "You have no idea how many powerful orgasms these hands are capable of giving women"
"Really?"
"Yes they are orgasm machines"
"Oh I knew that, I just didn't know they were capable of giving them to other people"
Yesterday my religious friend came up to me and said: "Every breath I take, a human being dies."

"Trying some Listerine would be a start," I said.