I'd like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing bee-hive and thought:
"Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it."
I'd just like to thank the man who looked at an empty kitchen and thought...
"there should be a woman in there"
Really Google Autocomplete? You
honestly think I want to search for
Me: So me and this 8 yr old were havin sex
Friend: That is so wrong..
Friend: It should be "the 8 years old and I."
I wonder if Chris Brown looks at a female and goes "I'd hit that"
I'd like to meet the man who looked at a bull and thought....
If I cut those off, he'll be quieter.
I'd like to meet the guy who looked at a black man and thought, "You know, I've got some cotton that needs picked. I'll buy one."
Yes, I know that, before we were married, my wife had a certain reputation.
Yes, I know that, even during our engagement, she was seeing and sleeping with other men.
But I like to think those days are well behind us now. I know for a fact that, since we've been married, she has not slept with any other man and I take great pride in that.
Finally, I'd like to thank the bridesmaids, who looked so lovely and did such a wonderful job today.
You know the old saying, "Children should be seen, and not heard!"
As I look at the missing person posters of my neighbours daughter, I can't help but feel that my work here is done.
So Carlos Tevez refused to get off the bench against Bayern Munich.
Big deal! I don't understand what the fuss is all about. I mean, it's not like he's the first person from Manchester whose refused to work.