I was having sex with a girl the other night in the dark and I kept getting really frustrated with her because she was shit.
So I said to her "look you have a tight minge and no tits' , she then replied in a muffled voice 'it would probably be better if I wasn't lying on my stomach'
I was with this girl the other night and we were kissing away when she told me 'Just so you know I don't do anal, I hate the thought of anything going in there.' So I said that was fine and we got back to kissing. I started to finger her and about a minute into it I slipped my finger into her arse. She slapped me and said 'I told you I don't like that!'
'I know' I said 'but I couldn't help it...I just love stirring up shit!'
Having sex with this bloke the other night, covered him in cream and licked it all off his hairy sweaty body before i let him start fucking my armpit. After that i took a massive shit on his chest and started eating it off and then he pissed in my mouth. To finish it i shoved some skittles up his arse and started sucking them back out...