The one thing I hate about this hot weather is all the scum in my pond.
I said to my mate, "The worst thing about this hot weather is the smell of BO from the sweaty Paki's on the bus."
"I'd say it's probably the wasps" he replied.
"Don't be silly" I said, "Wasps don't get BO."
The thing I love most about Valentine's Day is having the luxury of choosing my Valentine from a number of possible options.
Their parents are always out on dates.
The thing I love most about being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic is, no-one can tell how pissed I am.
The thing I love most about my wife is her sucky mouth.
The thing I love most about being a rapist.
The girls never fake it.
This hot weather is lovely, my ginger son though is burnt to fuck and in hospital.
Nothing to do with the weather, I just set him on fire through embarrassment.
If there is one thing that irritates me about my wife it is the way she dresses. For instance, she spent about an hour trying to put on some underwear this morning.
She argues that she would have got them on much sooner, if I would have stopped kicking my legs petulently.
This hot weather is not all its cracked up to be!
Just saw some fat bitch lying in the park in a vest, showing off her horrible hairy arm pits.
She looked like she had Don King in a head lock.
Being 22 stone in this hot weather is like being Michael Jackson.
Iām always very close to a 3ft Fan.