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210172
I was walking down a street when the woman in front of me dropped her bags. She asked me for help.

"Of course I'll help," I said to her, "With how beautiful you are, I bet you can get a man to do anything."

She giggled and flirted back by touching my arm and saying, "With how strong you are, I bet you can get a woman to do anything."

I laughed and said, "Yes, I can actually."

Then I raped her.
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Sex and shit - Rape - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 1,996.2


104088
My sexy secretary bent over at the office today, so I pulled down her panties and tried to start fingering her, but she screamed and ran away.

I was very confused and pondered the situation for a long time.

I've come to the conclusion that real life must be different to porn movies.
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Other - Professions - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 1,691.2


77029
You know that line that you're not meant to cross?

For a Sickipedian, that's the starting line.
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Other - Internet - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,292.6


90501
I heard that the terrorist attacks were purposely done on the 11th of September so that the date 9/11 resembles the emergency phone number of the USA.

Just proves once again that Brits are more intelligent than Americans.

I'd like to see someone try to attack Britain on the 9th of the 99th month.
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Racism - American - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 1,026.4


77348
I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Bazza2103 in Other - Money - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,016.6


231894
No, Microsoft Word, my name is not spelt incorrectly. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Bazza2103 in Other - Computers/Technology - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 858.8


82562
If I had a Nickel for every time I’ve insulted Americans, I’d go to the bank and exchange it for some proper British Currency. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Bazza2103 in Racism - American - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 774.2


99028
My son got in trouble at school today. At first, I was angry, but then I was so proud of him when I found out why.

During a maths exam, he received this question: "Rajita said that 3+2x4=20. Explain why Rajita is wrong."

And his response: "She is wrong because, not only is she a woman, but she is also a Paki."
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Racism - Pakistani - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 633.6


160315
I felt shit earlier.

Now my fingers smell.
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Sex and shit - Shit - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 620.6


79290
The other day, my girlfriend told me that I was one in a million.

I thought, "Great, she thinks she could find a thousand more people just as good as me in China."
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Joke by Bazza2103 in Racism - Chinese - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 594.2



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