Prince Harry. He's just like me and you really. He uses words like "paki" and "raghead".
Wonder if he's got any good Diana jokes!
What a day! First my favourite actor Patrick Swayze dies. Then I hear about my favourite celebrity chef Keith Floyd dying as well.
Could I just take this opportunity to mention that my favourite singer has always been Phil Collins.
My brother's just got back from two weeks in the sun. He's got one hell of a tan.
In fact he's so brown that when he came round our house, I immediately hid all my valuables.
My granddad's always been colour blind, but now the old duffer's eyesight's really bad as well.
He's just tried posting a letter into some Muslim woman's face.
I'll tell you what I really hate about my new Thai bride.
She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!