This morning a suspected Pakistani bomber was shot 68 times in a raid on his Bradford home. When interviewed, Detective Chief Inspector Thomas, who led the investigation was asked "Why 68 bullets on one man?"
He replied, "Yes, sorry about that, we ran out of ammo."
Abdul and Paddy are begging outside a railway station. Abdul has a Mercedes, a large house and is loaded, Paddy has fuck all. Abdul's begging hat is overflowing with with numerous notes but Paddy has just a few coppers in his.
"How do you do it?" asks Paddy.
"Look at your sign," says Abdul.
Paddy's sign reads: "Out of work, wife and six kids to support, please help."
Paddy then looks at Abdul's sign, which says: "I only need another £20 to get back to Pakistan."