My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted.
Oh well, better get back to it I suppose.
The wife just said to me "Right that's it I'm putting you on a sex ban for seven days."
"Fuck off!" I replied "I'm not staying in for a week."
My wife hates the fact I'm seeing an old flame at work.
I keep telling her, "I'm a gas heating engineer, for fuck's sake."
"Suck my tits big boy!" my wife shouted up at me while I was fucking her,
"Erm... No thanks" I replied "They've been under your arms."
My wife has just said she's leaving me because I'm always discussing our relationship with strangers on the Internet.
Well the silly bitch couldn't be more wrong, could she?