Little Red Rooster's Jokes

"What would you like?" says the barman.

"What would I like?" says Bob. "A bigger house, more money and a more attractive wife."

"No," says the barman, patiently. "I meant what do you want?"

"To win the lottery, for my mother-in-law to die and for my child to be born healthy!"

"What's it to be?" says the barman, less patiently.

"A boy or a girl, I don't care."

"You misunderstand me," says the barman, impatiently, "I only asked what you want to drink."

"Oh," says Bob, "I see. Why didn't you say so? What have you got?"

"Nothing at all," says the barman. "I'm perfectly healthy."
A little girl opens the door to find a priest with a collection tin.

"What can I do for you, Father?"

"I'm collecting for the orphanage."

"Just a moment," says the little girl, closing the door.

The priest waits patiently, then suddenly hears first one gunshot, then another. The little girl returns to the door and says:

"OK, you can take me now."