A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath.
I tried to help, but I could only knock one out.
I can't believe I got my computer seized just for having Virgin Media.
Or, as the police like to call it, 'child pornography'.
What do you call a prostitute with cum on her face?
A taxi. Her job's done.
What's the difference between a joke and three cocks?
The girl we met last night couldn't take a joke.
I used to look up to Michael so much;
and every time, he'd look back down at me and say, "keep going son".