The good thing about Hollyoaks is you can miss a few episodes and, the next time you watch it, you're still a cunt.
When James Bond is out of his home country of England, is he known as +44 07?
Adele - Chasing Pavements
If she chased something that moved, she won't be as fat.
Eurovision Presenter talking to twins:
"So where did you two meet?"
Maybe, just maybe, at birth.
Saying "whoever smelt it dealt it" doesn't work when it comes to airport sniffer dogs, apparently.