When James Bond is out of his home country of England, is he known as +44 07?
I was given 4 E's and LSD last night.
What a shit start to a game of Scrabble.
Why are Dubstep artists bad at fishing?
Because they always drop the bass.
I dropped my laptop off the side of a boat the other day.
It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.
I turned round to this gorgeous blonde at the bar and whispered, "I have a Monster in my pants."
"Oh, big is it?" she flirted.
"Yeah," I responded. "Co-Op only had the 500ml cans."