My mate just said, "What's your favourite mythical creature?"
I said, "Those happy women in Tampax adverts."
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Unless he's a Vegetarian.
Then you can get there through his fanny.
I went to give my boss a high 5 today during a meeting, but he swerved it..
so I turned it into a handstand to avoid looking stupid.
'We need to talk'
Thought the caveman.
Over the past year, I've bought every single product offered on each porn site that I've visited.
My penis is now 326 feet long.