I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.
Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.
Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...
Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinsons isn't making it any easier.
I don't know what all the fuss is about Window 7 - I just opened mine and all I got was a little chocolate mouse. Whose idea was that?
I was driving down a dark country lane when I shunted the car in front at a junction.
The lady got out and yelled, "I don't believe this... fancy ramming me up the arse."
And this, your honour, is where the misunderstanding started...
Okay, so I'm desperate for a fuck. I looked on Google and found the answer. They seemed reputable and even had a place near me!
Logged onto their site... Seems Screwfix isn't what I thought.
BBC News - Italy ordains first woman priest - much to the joy of choirboys everywhere!