A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex.
Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
My best mate is called Tiba.
Sometimes, I think he's a bit backwards.
I saw a Paki drowning the other day and reported it to the Emergency Services.
I hope they saved him or that was a waste of a first class stamp.
A man goes into a library and asks to borrow a book on séances.
The Librarian says, "Okay, but only if you ask the cunt who borrowed the book on suicide to bring it back."
If I have 5 pies in one hand and and six pies in the other hand what have I got?
Two more trips to Adele's table in my restaurant to complete her order.