A bloke goes in to work and finds his colleague sitting at his desk, chuckling and shaking his head. On asking, "What's up?" his work mate says, "Well, I had this really embarrassing Freudian slip this morning!"
The bloke asks what a Freudian slip is and his pal explains that it's when you mean to say something but what you actually say is what you're thinking. He then gives his example: -

"I was queueing at the train station ticket office and couldn' [...]

A bloke goes in to work and finds his colleague sitting at his desk, chuckling and shaking his head. On asking, "What's up?" his work mate says, "Well, I had this really embarrassing Freudian slip this morning!"
The bloke asks what a Freudian slip is and his pal explains that it's when you mean to say something but what you actually say is what you're thinking. He then gives his example: -

"I was queueing at the train station ticket office and couldn't help but notice that the girl behind the counter has a massive pair of hooters. They were real eye magnets! When I got to the window, instead of asking for a ticket to Tooting I asked her for a ticket to TITTING. She blushed, I blushed, I got my ticket and scarpered."
The bloke laughs and says, "Oh, I see. That's funny!"

The following day, the other bloke is sitting at his desk laughing to himself when his workmate walks in and asks, "What's so funny?"
The bloke replies, "I had one of your Freudian slips this morning. I was sitting at the breakfast table with the missus and I meant to say 'pass the marmalade' but what I actually said was 'FUCK OFF, YOU FAT BITCH, YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!"

Tonto and The Lone Ranger are walking through the desert. The Lone Ranger asks Tonto how much he knows about the desert and the nature surrounding them. Tonto suddenly drops the floor and puts his ear to the desert floor. Tonto then shouts, "BUFFALO COME."

The Lone Ranger is amazed. He says, "are you so knowledgeable in this world that you can hear the animals miles away and understand their acoustics via their vibrations through the ground?"

Tonto l [...]

Tonto and The Lone Ranger are walking through the desert. The Lone Ranger asks Tonto how much he knows about the desert and the nature surrounding them. Tonto suddenly drops the floor and puts his ear to the desert floor. Tonto then shouts, "BUFFALO COME."

The Lone Ranger is amazed. He says, "are you so knowledgeable in this world that you can hear the animals miles away and understand their acoustics via their vibrations through the ground?"

Tonto looks up and says, "NO! EAR STUCK TO FLOOR!"

A lad & his girlfriend are having sex every night & the same old routine is starting to get boring. So, as she's a big girl, she suggests he sticks his foot inside her to see if that spices things up.

The lad takes off his shoe & sock & rams his foot up her clopper. She squeals with delight & so he continues on a nightly basis giving her a good "footing".

After a couple of weeks the lad notices a rash on his foot & hobbles off to se [...]

A lad & his girlfriend are having sex every night & the same old routine is starting to get boring. So, as she's a big girl, she suggests he sticks his foot inside her to see if that spices things up.

The lad takes off his shoe & sock & rams his foot up her clopper. She squeals with delight & so he continues on a nightly basis giving her a good "footing".

After a couple of weeks the lad notices a rash on his foot & hobbles off to see the doctor. The doc takes a look & says "It looks like you've got VD of the foot!". The lad asks if this is common, and the doctor scratches his head & says "I've never seen anything like it in my life! It's strange though, I've just had a girl in here with ATHLETE'S FANNY"