coathanger's Jokes

A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.

"Morning!" he said.

The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."
George W. Bush wakes up one morning, feeling good. He calls in his Vice-President.
"Dick", he says, "I think I need a new title to reflect my position as leader of the free world. I'm going to call myself King."

"You can't do that," says Cheney, "you don't have a kingdom."

"Okay then," says Bush, "what about Emperor?"

"No good. You don't have an empire."

"Prince?"

"No. America isn't a principality."

"Okay... Err... Duke?"

"Nor is it a Duchy."

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" asks an exasperated Bush.

Cheney smiles. "It's obvious, George," he says. "You run a country."
George Bush is being giving his daily briefing. He is told that yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed.

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally he looks up with a devastated expression on his face and he asks, "How many is a brazillion?'