sick puppy's Jokes

F. W. De Klerk has an important banquet coming up so he decides to go get himself some new shoes at a high class Johannesburg shoe shop...

He walks in and explains to the assistant he wants a pair of very exclusive shoes...

The assistant measures him up and then goes out back to get them....

She returns after a few minutes with a beautiful pair of tan shoes...

"What are they made of?" asks FW

"These are made of camel hide and cost 100 rand"

"Sorry, No, they're just not exclusive enough.....Do you have anything else?"

So the assistant disappears again to return with an equally exquisite pair of snake skin shoes...

"What are they made of?" asks FW

"These are made of finest cobra skin and cost 200 rand"

"Sorry, No, they're just not exclusive enough.....Do you have anything else?"

So the assistant disappears again to return with the most attractive pair of pink shoes FW has ever seen...

He tries them on and they fit perfectly....and seem to be the most comfortable shoe he's ever had on...

"What are they made of?" asks FW

"These are human skin and because of the craftsmanship needed to make them are 1,000 rand..."

FW admires them, has a think and then says...."That's a little steep... Do you have something a little more economical?"

To which the assistant replies: "I can do them in black for 1.99!!"
Enoch was talking to his wife about his last wishes:-

"When I die, I'd like all the blacks and pakis to dance on my grave!"

"That's a change of heart love, however, where do you want to be buried?"

"At Sea!"
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 14 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 14 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn Around'!!"