simonlomas's Jokes

During Antiques Roadshow today, I looked at the 19th century mahogany chest of drawers in the corner of my living room and thought:

"Maybe that's where the fucking remote is."
This pregnant girl I know has made a separate Facebook account just for her unborn child.

It's beginning to annoy me so much that I've decided to set up an account as a coat hanger, add the unborn child and poke them.