6:31pm. My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Big Brother.
If you ask me, people who harm children should be strangled at birth.
I was shagging this German girl last night. She didn't speak much English, but I think she wanted me to try out some more adventurous positions.
I mean I've heard of a sixty-nine, but what sort of position is a nine nine nine nine nine?
I ate an entire bag of Rohypnol last night, and it didn't even affect me.
Anyway, got to go. I need to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
Buy my coat, you've pulled a Jew.