Hottest This Month
The clocks go back one hour tonight.
Unless you're a Muslim of course, then you need to put yours forward a couple of centuries.
My girlfriend broke up with me after finding out what my mates used to call me in primary school.
The inventor of predictive text has died.
His funfair will be hello on Sundial.
Just when Oscar Pistorius thought it couldn't get any worse.
He gets allocated the top bunk.
'Time is a construct of man, a means of adding value and structure to a chaotic universe, it serves no real purpose, it's endless and infinite, unfathomable and subjective'
'You're still fucking late' replied my boss.
Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
A wife is like a hand grenade.
Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
Recent study shows that masturbating twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%.
I've done the maths. I am immortal.
According to serving suggestions, I'm a family of four.
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini has complained to the media that people will always know her as Cheryl Cole, the former wife of a premiership footballer.
That's unfair, because I'll always know her as Cheryl Tweedy, the belligerent slapper convicted of assaulting a toilet cleaner in a Surrey nightclub.