Hottest This Month
Welcome to the BBC.
Rape all the children you like, just don't punch a producer.
Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended. He must have done something that even the BBC find inexcusable
So that rules out child abuse then....
A black guy goes into a bakery. While he's waiting to get served he hears a voice say "fuck off back to the jungle, Nigger".
He looks down and sees some cakes looking back at him.
"Excuse me", he says to the girl behind the counter, "did you hear what these things just said?"
"Sorry about that. They're Chelsea buns."
Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night.
He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
I tried using a colander to view the eclipse.
I think I've strained my eyes.
I've just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.
And I'm thinking, "Who the fuck's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"
People in the UK eat more bananas than monkeys.
In 2014, they ate 73,432,384 bananas and only 6 monkeys.
There are so many Romanian and African immigrants to the United Kingdom, the place hardly feels like Poland any more.
Top Gear was 12 years old. That's one of the oldest things the BBC staff have fucked.
I taught my Dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground...
We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour.