Hottest This Month
The UK Government has said that Scotland could end up as a Third World country if they vote for independence.
I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.
I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said;
"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."
Gary, you filthy bastard!!
A woman converting to Islam is like a black person converting to slavery
I heard a funny noise whilst in bed last night so I jumped up and did all the usual stuff - checked the front door, checked the windows, shot my girlfriend five times, checked the back door.
Turns out there was no one there!
I don't bother with the Grand National any more. Last year my horse started off at 33/1 at Aintree, and ended up at 2 for 1 at Tesco.
What's yellow and at the bottom of the Indian Ocean?
Sand, you heartless bastard.
Gay marriage legalised in England and Wales.
For those of you confused about the idea, it's like normal marriage but with blowjobs, anal and fewer arguments about who left the toilet seat up.
What do black guys have that's longer than most white men's and gets even bigger when they touch a woman?
Their criminal record.
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, "Well, this changes everything."
I see that in Michigan, two people are being sued for $2 million after burning down an apartment complex while cooking a squirrel with a blowtorch.
Now I'm not an accountant, but it sounds like they might not have $2 million.