Hottest This Month

I realised I've got a road rage problem when my five-year-old daughter shouted, "Pick a fucking lane,you dickhead!" while sitting in my grocery trolley.
I think I've worked out why only nine people have made donations to the National Sperm Bank...

It's probably because these days most people do their banking online.
I got fired on my first day as a bingo caller, I think some members complained of my inappropriate bingo lingo...

In particular...

"If there's hair on the muff, then fair enough, 15."
Jesus gets credit for feeding five thousand people with a few fishes and loaves of bread.

But Walkers Crisps manage to spread one potato across five thousand packets.
"Jamaica demands compensation for Britain's involvement in the slave trade"

That's a bit rich, we already paid for them once.