Hottest This Month

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.
"I really need a new fucking boat," I thought to myself.
Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.

"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"

"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."
The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.
My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.

Two minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"

I said, "Because we're still in Manchester."
During a job interview yesterday I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly.

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer.

I replied simply, "No, I always give 110%"